In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
