her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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