i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
