after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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