...so i touched it.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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