Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
