Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
