I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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