You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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