Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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