Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
"it" just moved
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
