nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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