K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
sex in a hospital.. check
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize