Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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