It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
