she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
