Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I want to have your abortion
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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