oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
