508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
