Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
