you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
