cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
