if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
