His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
