honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
FUCK WHALES
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
