He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
