I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize