he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
