is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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