Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
