So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
