The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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