some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
