Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
