i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
