My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
