32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
