Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
