4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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