I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
