My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
