am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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