I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
