Having a random hookup so left but love u
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Semen is not good for contacts.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
