Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize