Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
