Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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