The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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