At least make sure they are 18
Why
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
