Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
