The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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