I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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