I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
