Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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