that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
They should really pass out barf bags in church
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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