I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize