Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize