Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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