and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Pappa wants mamma naked
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize