My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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