i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
