I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
